Rules · Hair Force One

Mission

Hair Force One is a satirical 60-second arcade mission. The birds do the flying. Your job is to aim, shoot, reload, collect bonuses and score as many points as possible before the round ends.

One round lasts exactly 60 seconds. Not 59. Not 61. Even power has a timer here.
Aim and shoot. Hit the right targets before the news cycle moves on.
Collect bonuses. They help your score and provide the brief illusion of control.
Reload in time. Empty ammo is not a strategy, even if it is delivered with confidence.

Controls

Desktop: aim and shoot with the controls shown in the game.
Mobile: use the on-screen touch controls. The screen is small, the situation is not.
R or SPACE: reload.
Reload button: reloads too, for traditionalists and people who still believe in visible institutions.
B: Boss Key. Instantly hides the game when democracy, management or your conscience walks into the room.

Ammo & Reload

You have limited ammo. Shooting wildly may feel good, but it is not always a strategy. Reload with R, SPACE or the reload button before pretending the silence was intentional.

Watch your ammo indicator.
Reload before the next target window closes.
Every second matters. The round ends after exactly 60 seconds.
Empty weapons do not impress history. They only create awkward pauses.

Scoring

Your score is based on what happens during the 60-second mission: hits, timing, bonuses and how efficiently you turn absurdity into points.

Better hits mean better scores.
Bonuses can change the mission.
Speed matters, because the clock is mercilessly neutral.
Your best results can enter the leaderboards, where dignity goes to be compared.

Leaderboards

Hair Force One has three glorious ranking systems, because one version of truth was never enough and because every society eventually invents a committee.

Monthly Scores

The official monthly battlefield. Every month begins with a clean sky, fresh ambition and the beautiful illusion that this time, history might be fair. Scores are ranked by performance and reset with the new month, because even empires need a calendar.

All Time Scores

The eternal archive of skill, reflexes and suspiciously steady thumbs. This board does not reset. It remembers everything, which already makes it more reliable than many public records and considerably less convenient for revisionists.

Real Ranking

The Real Ranking is not about skill, courage, timing or accuracy. That would be naive. It is about verified influence. Choose a name, choose a country and buy influence. Your rank is determined by the amount paid, but the amount itself remains classified — because transparency must have limits, especially when influence is involved.

Minimum influence: 1 CHF. Higher influence ranks higher. Equal influence is ranked by time of entry. No refunds of dignity, no public disclosure of amounts and no guarantee that history will be impressed.

Important democratic clarification

Real Ranking purchases are voluntary, satirical and part of the game’s absurd political joke. They do not improve your actual gameplay, your moral standing, your accuracy, your reload timing or your chances of being remembered kindly by history.

The displayed rank is real. The influence is fake. The payment is voluntary. The satire is unfortunately not entirely fictional.

This is satire. No birds, presidents, institutions, billionaires, lobbyists or fragile egos should be harmed while playing.